Parenting is tough work

Our girl has experienced more trauma at the age of 5 than most people have their entire lives. 

Eventually, those feelings that are bottled up are going to come out. It's inevitable. 

Earlier this week, Bertie shared her story with an Ethiopian-American lady at our guest house. We couldn't understand, but after a few minutes the lady started crying. 

She told us Bertie told her very calmly and nonchalantly about her parents death and how she arrived in the orphanage. Then, B told the lady not to cry because it was ok. 

No 5 year old should explain some of the things she did as calmly as she did. 

Deep. Hidden. Emotions friends. 

Today was a rough day due to a combination of things - sleepless night, early morning, tummy ache, etc. 

She screamed and cried and kicked and yelled. And all KC and I could do was try to hold our little girl and tell her over and over that it was okay and we'd always love her. 

To be honest, I'd rather deal with messy now than to be tricked into thinking we had it easy for a few weeks of a "honeymoon". 

Our social worker told us that she isn't used to how we do things. She expects to get hit or yelled at since that's what happened in the orphanage. But she told us to keep holding her and telling her we love her. She'll eventually realize it. 

She was fine after about 20 minutes. But those 20 minutes are some of the most heartbreaking moments. All we can do is hold her and pray. 

She told the social worker that we prayed for her last night when she didn't feel well. I'm glad she recognizes it. 

I feel like KC and I are in a constant state of prayer - which is never a bad thing. 

We're eager to get home and lay low with her and the boys. A lot of new people and faces make her nervous and that's when she starts to act out. 

Friends, please keep praying for her little heart (all our hearts).

Healing takes time and is messy. But it'll be so beautiful after some time. ❤️

  

Adoption is love and war

I'm stealing that phrase from my husband. And yes, you read it right. 

Right now, sweet B is in survival mode. We had a few days of perfection, but that's long gone. 

Are we excited to finally be here and see our daughter? ABSOLUTELY. 

But we're in a battle. She's been so independent and has been allowed to kind of do whatever for 5 years. And that can't be undone in a matter of days. 

This is HARD WORK. So while I'm ecstatic that were at this point after 4 years, now comes the nitty gritty. 

The showing her we love her immensely but still slowly applying boundaries. Trying to teach her English and trying to learn Amharic. 

It's tough stuff. 

It'll be tougher still when we get home. But it'll at least be home court advantage. Lol. 

We're tired. She's tired. We're mentally drained. She's mentally drained. We're ready to be home. And she's ready to be home. She asks every day when we're going to America. 

So when we're holed up in our house for weeks, it's because we're working on developing trust and bonding. 

Hear me out. Yes, it's tough stuff. Really tough. But don't think for a second it was a mistake. Because it wasn't. Not. In. The. Least. 

(PS. I'm not gonna lie. We've had a few moments of panic this week, but God has helped us through them. I mean, what new parent hasn't? Whether through adoption or biology! Lol.)

Because we know, in a few months, in a year, things will be better. Healing takes time. 

So please pray for us all. For physical healing to mental healing and especially spiritual healing. ❤️

We've emailed the embassy to see about speeding up the medical process. The replied back with the okay once we get s list of things for them. 

Please help us pray we can get those items FAST and she can start the medical portion by Wednesday or Thursday. 

KC is heading home Thursday (unless there's a major delay) and I don't want to be by myself for more than a week if I can help it. 

So please pray that we get the medical, birth certificate, passport, and visa ASAP. 

We're ready to be home. ❤️❤️

  

  

Our Arrival

As I'm typing this, I'm sitting in bed at the guest house with all the windows and patio door open feeling the cool Ethiopian breeze. It's taken us a day, but I think our bodies are adjusting to the time change. I'm rested enough to update you guys on what has transpired so far. 

(Oh, we put the stinky suitcase on the balcony, in the sun... It smells soooo much better!)

At 10:30am on Thursday, we were taking off from D.C. on a direct flight to Addis Ababa. I think that's when it hit. I feel slightly frightened as I realized this was it. We were on our way to Ethiopia. We kept ourselves occupied on the flight, but every time I'd check our flight progress, I noticed I became more panicked the closer we got. 

When we landed, I had only a moment to be frightened before we went through the medical check, visa line, immigration line, currency exchange, through the baggage line, one more bag check, and finally out of the airport where we were greeted my Mr. M holding up a sign that said Bethany. Plus, Aubrey texted me a picture of him, so I knew what he looked like. I'll interject here and say that Mr. M is only 32. He is so friendly and full of energy. He made us feel right at home. 

We loaded up in the van and headed to the guest house. 

Driving in the capital of Ethiopia is wild! There are no specific lanes, everyone just weaves in and out and you're so close to other vehicles you could reach out the window and touch them. Car horns are also used quite frequently. People cross the street at any point in all the traffic, trusting that the vehicles will slow down long enough to cross. (Search on YouTube for traffic in Addis Ababa for an idea.)

We made it to the guest house and got settled in. M told us that we'd have Friday and most of Saturday to relax. Tonight, he's taking us for a traditional Ethiopian dinner. I believe we'll see some traditional dance too. 

He said his goodbye and KC and I found ourselves standing in the room. Tired, exhausted, and on an emotional high. 

We stood there quietly for some time. 

KC asked me how I was doing and what I was thinking. I just shrugged and said "I dunno". 

If you know me, you know I'm a talker. Happy, sad, angry, hungry... I talk. But I just had nothing to say in this moment. 

KC told me I was freaking him out and needed to say something. I told him I wasn't thinking anything and didn't have much to say. Hint: that was a lie. I was having a panic attack. 

I was all of a sudden terrified at how real this was. Of meeting her, of staying here alone with her, of traveling alone with her... I was shocked at how it was affecting me. 

After we started unpacking, I began to calm down. I then told KC that I had a moment of terror. He laughed and said so did he. 

I think we'd been waiting so long and the actual travel happened so quick, we didn't have a chance to digest it all until we were standing in a room 8,000 miles away from home. 

We talked about how different everything is going to be from this point on. Not just in the family aspect, but in another big way as we've felt that the finalization of the adoption is going to be a turning point for us. 

It's exciting and terrifying at the same time! But my wise husband said it best: That's what makes it so great. If it weren't so scary, everyone would do it. 

So here we are, in Ethiopia, waiting to meet our daughter. Knowing that once we get home, things will never be the same. 

And that is okay with us.  ❤️

About halfway through our flight. I promise KC isn't angry. Just tired. 

Sunrise as we were landing in Ethiopia 

View from our room

Sunrise Saturday morning 

Yummy breakfast this morning

Leaving on a jet plane!

I don't know about you, but I start singing that line like Steve Buscemi in Armageddon. Makes me giggle every time. 

Ok. Catch up time friends! 

I'm typing this while sitting at the airport in DC about to board a 15+ hour flight to Ethiopia. 

My last post was on January 30th. We had FINALLY gotten our positive recommendation letter. 

We had expected our court date the following week. However, the judge was out of town from Wednesday to Friday and we found out on Friday. Haha! 

Then, surprise surprise, our coordinator Mrs. J called me at 7am on Monday morning. Our court date was scheduled for the 19th! Only 10 days away. 

We jumped into what my sister called "survival mode". KC and I wrapped up work on Monday, ran last minute errands and spent a lot of time with the boys Tuesday, and hopped on a flight to DC on Wednesday, my birthday. 

Our flight to Ethiopia didn't leave until Thursday morning. (PS. Our TSA agent lady wished me a belated birthday after checking my passport. Hehe!)

So here we're sitting, waiting to fly to our daughters birth country. 

So many emotions! 

We'll arrive at 7am tomorrow. We'll get acclimated over the weekend, and will travel to the orphanage Mon...

Sorry. I was interrupted by my 7 year old texting me videos through wifi using our spare iPhone.  Haha!

We will travel to the orphanage on Monday, stay overnight, and head back to Addis on Tuesday and have 1 day of time before our court date. And she'll be officially a Collins. 

Eeek!

We are so thankful for you guys and for all the prayers. We couldn't have made it to this point without you guys. We can't wait to share pictures with you after next Thursday!! 

All you can do is chuckle...

Well friends, we have some “yippee!” news and some “ugh, darn it” news.

 

First, the good news! Our dossier has been translated and is ready to be reviewed by MOWA!

*Yipppeeeee!!! Yahhhoooooo!!!!*

 

Now, we’re just waiting on MOWA’s positive recommendation letter AND a court date!! Eeeek!

 

……………………………………

 

BUT.....

That’s when the "ugh, darn it" news comes in.

 

Guess who is out on vacation all week?

 

The judges secretary.

 

Why does that matter?

 

Because that’s who schedules MOWA reviews and then the court dates.

 

I know, I heard your collective “Gah! Seriously?!”….

 

Yes, seriously guys. All I could do was laugh when I read that information from our coordinator.

 

I mean, our dossier got to Ethiopia and translated in record time! We could’ve known our court date by tomorrow!

 

And then…… 

VACATION   *said in Seinfeld’s voice as he says ‘NEWMAN’*.

 

 

Honestly, you just laugh, and then kind of bang your head on your desk. Rinse and repeat.

 

Hahaha! Seriously. I have a pillow in my office for this exact situation (and other work related issues, but that’s another matter entirely…).

 

A part of me is beginning to get crazy and antsy and is thinking zany thoughts while making funny faces in my office. Kinda like this.

 

 

The other part of me is just chilling, leaning back in my chair and propping my feet up. Because, we’re pros at this point guys.

 

PROS.

 

I feel like Jesus is crazy proud of me for trusting Him and not F-R-E-A-K-I-N-G  O-U-T!!!

 

He’s like “Hey! That’s ma girl! You got this cuz I got this!"

 

Go ahead and chuckle. I enjoy being able to make you guys laugh. And anything to keep me from thinking too much about it and eating ice cream.

 

At this point, we’re just SO excited that we could be seeing our girl in about 3 weeks.

 

Plus, in case you missed it, we actually got our October update last week. We got to see new pictures of our dear Bertie. AND we had a minute and half video of her looking at our faces for the first time. I’m so beyond excited that they recorded her looking at her family and her house.

 

And man, hearing her say Mommy and Daddy put us on such a high…. I’m sure we’ll manage to get through the next week of waiting for a court date. We got this.

 

We should hear something early next week. As soon as we do, we’ll be sure to let you guys know. Until next time amigos!

 

 P.S. I'm eating a slice of coconut cream pie right now as I type this. 😁

 

SO Close!!!

Ok friends. 

We've been told that the rumor is, that courts will be closing on August 6th.... That's in ONE week!!

Our agency is confident that we will make it in before the courts close. 

We were hoping to hear something by now, but we haven't. As soon as we get clearance, we will be traveling within a day or two!!

Crazy. 

We're so excited! Please help us pray that we hear something tomorrow. KC and I were antsy all day today. 

This part of the waiting has been torture. We are just a phone call away from jumping on a plane to meet our girl. 

And, a HUGE, MASSIVE, GINORMOUS thank you to all of you guys. We shared that with airfare prices skyrocketing, we were still about 2300 short. Well, you guys came through for us in less than 24 hours. I sobbed, and sobbed. 

You have no idea how much you mean to KC and I. We can never thank you enough for helping bring her home. 

Thank you. ❤️

*I've created a Facebook group to update you guys while we're in-country. It'll be easier than keeping up with the blog. (But I'll be sure to let you all know when we're leaving.) The group is Bring Bertie Home. 

https://m.facebook.com/groups/255540464635566?ref=bookmark 

Thankful

For all the 100 million (possibly a slight exaggeration) things that go wrong in life, there are always those 100 things that happen to go right and make the rest worth it. 

So despite continued "setbacks" in adoption-land lately, today I'm going to share the blessings. 

1. We got an update on Bertie that we were not expecting. We saw new pictures and TWO videos that were longer than 60 seconds. 

In one, she was counting in Amharic so we got to hear her voice. It was more than I could've asked for. 

In the second, she was playing a handclap game with her little friend 'T'. Just 2 days earlier, I tried to teach the same handclap motions to the boys. With absolutely NO luck. Lol. 

2. Since the video contained Bertie and T, we had to give permission to T's adoptive parents to see it and they had to give us permission to see it. 

Because of this, our agency introduced us to this new family who are likely going to be traveling at the same time as we are!! We'll be staying in the same hotel, and we'll get to travel to the orphanage together and being our girls back to Addis with us. 

This means the girls would still have some familiarity when we leave the orphanage. That's a huge win. 

The mother and I have been emailing back and forth and we are close in she and our families have a lot in common. BIG blessing. 

3. I found out yesterday that we can send a photo album to Bertie ahead of us, so the nannies can explain what's about to happen. Another huge win. She'll have a better idea of who we are and won't be so blindsided! I'm working on it now so I can mail it off on Monday. 

Those are the big blessings we've had the last 2-3 weeks. They've helped us to better digest other news (stinking airfare and immigration rules) we've gotten this week. 

I'm thankful and blessed for these few things. And for the next one:

4. This time last year, our dossier was 2-3 weeks away from being in Ethiopia. And it's crazy awesome to think that we could be 2-3 weeks away from bring in Ethiopia ourselves!!

Even with all the ups and downs and (still) unknowns, I'm thankful for God and what He's taught me and shown me these last few years. 

We're close. And I'm thankful for that. ❤️

  

Birth Relative Court Date

Well, we finally got the date for our birth relative court date...

July 23rd. 

Yeah, it's exciting to finally have that court date scheduled, but it's so far out. 

And our coordinator told us it's 4-6 weeks after that before we get OUR court date. 

At this rate, it looks like we might miss the cutoff for the court closure. Last year, they closed on August 9th through October 14th. 

Our coordinator doesn't seem to think that that will happen as they don't generally split court dates over the court closures. But it HAS happened before. 

KC and I found this out yesterday morning. We both were just so upset. We had just left the mall where we stopped by Candy Craze and got some yummies. 

We both sat in the van quietly and I felt like I was close to tears. This time it was KC who vocalized how tired he was of all the snags. I looked at him and handed him a chocolate almond and said "Here, have some chocolate. Chocolate loves you and doesn't judge". He laughed and took it. 

This is why I've gained 10 pounds so far this year. I'm an emotional eater. Ha!

We're praying that we have no more delays. At this rate, we're looking at early to mid-August to travel. I know it's only a month later than we thought and it doesn't seem like a big deal, but we're 3 1/2 years into this guys.  As of Monday, it's been 5 months since we first saw her beautiful face. We're ready to get there and hold her. 

As soon as this court date is over, we'll get our letter of recommendation from MOWCYA and then they schedule our court date so we can book flights! 

(The one good thing about a later court date, is that we have more time to save up for flights!)

Please help us pray that there are no more delays and that the next few weeks go by fast! ❤️

  

  

Not much…

We’re coming up on 3 weeks of waiting for a birth relative court date. I wake up early to check my email (like a madwoman) to see if we’ve received anything from Ethiopia. Nothing.

 

This is the point where KC and I are getting VERY exhausted. We feel downtrodden. 

We know that His timing is good, but it’d be nice to know something... anything.

 

This. Is. Hard. 

BUT, one positive is that it’s allowing KC and I to save a bit more money. We were still about 2500 shy of where we needed to be when KC texted me yesterday. Turns out, he got a “bonus” for training some new guy at work. To the tune of $1,000. Talk about wanting to shout from the rooftops!! 

That was a HUGE blessing. HUGE. It takes a big weight off knowing that we’re only $1,500 short of where we need to be. We’re praying that we can budget  some from next month (we’ve already budgeted moving over some this month).

 

So yes, the wait is hard; even excruciating at times. But He knows what’s best. And He’s already reminding us of His faithfulness.

 

That’s where we’re at. In the hard, but knowing He’s still keeping an eye out for our well-being. Please continue to keep us all in your prayers.  ❤️

  

  

Where We Are…

I’m sure you may have figured out by now, that there are a lot of ups and downs in adoption land. Many times it seems like there are more downs than ups.

 

 

· Court in Ethiopia is backed up.

· We still don’t have a date for the          birth relative interview.

· We still don’t have enough to make the trip.

· We’ll likely miss the first day of second grade for Caedmon and the first day of Kindergarten for Oliver.

· If we don’t get a court date before August, we’ll have to wait until October to see her.

· That’s 4 months away.

· We’ll miss her birthday.

 

 

It’s been 12 days since we were submitted to court. It can take up to 4 weeks to be given a birth relative court date. Then, we need a letter of recommendation from the MOWCYA which can take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. After we receive that letter, we’ll wait to be given OUR court date.

 

More waiting.

 

Last week was rough. Actually, so far this week has been too.  I am upset. Tired. Worried. Ready to be there.

 

I’m doing my best to stay hopeful, but to be completely honest, we are. Worn. Out. And as much as I know God is here beside me and I know that He has it all under control, I’m feeling a littleincredibly impatient and cantankerous right now. This momma is ready to see her girl and bring her home.

 

I’d prefer that this post not turn into a pity party, so I’m going to leave it at that. Haha! We still have some hurdles to clear, and we’re praying we can clear them sooner rather than later. We’ve trusted Him this far, and we aren’t going to stop now.

 

So for now, I’m just here. Waiting. It’s hard, but we’ve waited before. But please bear with me the next few weeks as we wait for news.

 

Thank you all for your prayers. We sure could use them.  ❤️

 

 

 

*I sometimes feel selfish for feeling like this. Our story is unique to us, and presents its own challenges to our family. But I know there are adoptive families out there who are going through hard (and harder) times than we are right now. That doesn’t diminish how we’re feeling, but I know that despite our ups and downs, there are families who have experienced what we have. And they survived.

 

Today, many families are in D.C. to plead with our government to help get their children in the Democratic Republic of Congo home. They’ve been legally adopted and cleared court, however the Congolese government will not issue exit visas.

 

Some of these families have been waiting more than a year to bring their little ones home. Please, pray for these families as well. Adoption is hard. But our little kiddos are SO worth the hard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PAIR Letter? Check!!

Hello friends!

 

Well, good news! We were submitted to court on Friday! Our agency went ahead and submitted us without our PAIR letter since they knew we’d get it in the next day or so.

 

And guess what was in the mailbox on Friday afternoon? You guessed it. Our letter. This gives up preliminary approval for Bertie to migrate to the US and become a citizen. 

I dropped it in the mail to our agency yesterday afternoon. They will get it authenticated and sent to Ethiopia for our court file. 

 

Per our agency, court has been a little backed up lately, but they hope to get us a birth relative court date within the next 1-4 weeks. We’re praying hard that it’s sooner. We’re quickly approaching the court closures for the rainy season.

 

As soon as we the court date has been completed, we’ll be waiting on a recommendation letter from the Ministry of Women, Children, and Youth Affairs (MOWCYA). As soon as the team has that letter, we’ll be submitted for a court date. Those will generally come within 1-3 weeks!

 

Please continue to pray for us. We still aren’t where we need to be financially due to crazy airfare prices doubling for the summer season. We had planned to save at least 6,500 by the end of June – and we’re there. But after running numbers for each of our 3 travel options (2 trips, up to a 4 week trip, or up to a 6 week trip), we realized we’d need almost double. This was not poor planning on our part. We continued to check airfare all throughout the spring. And it hovered around 1100-1600 per ticket.

 

When we looked earlier this month, we had definitely had sticker shock. KC and I are not big travelers, so we didn't realize what the summer months will do to ticket prices. Haha!

Apparently, the summer airfare hike is hitting many adoptive families hard. We're all scrambling for any help we can get, and most organizations are just out of funds at this point. 

 

We’re budgeting as best as we can for the next month to allow for us to add extra to our travel savings account. Even with all the uncertainty, we’re not stressing out too bad because we’ve prayed continually for His guidance on this. We’re oddly at peace and we know that He will meet us where we are. We know that’s from Him because we should not be this calm at this point. Haha!

 

I’m thankful for His presence to help calm my spirit when the things of this world try to steal my joy. We are blessed in more ways than we realize, and I try to dwell on those things instead.  :)

Soon. It'll all be over soon. ❤️

  

  

 

 

Exciting news & one step closer!

We just got an email from the embassy in Addis. They’ve set up an interview with the “birth parent/relinquishing relative/other”. This is the final step before they issue their determination to USCIS back here in the states.

*cue squealing, screaming, and little bit of nervous breathing and staring into space*

 

We don’t have an exact date yet, but they could send their decision back here in the next week or two! As soon as that happens, we’ll get our PAIR letter within 10 days.

 

And then it’s only a matter of weeks before we travel. It’s getting close!

*cue squealing, screaming, and little bit of nervous breathing and staring into space*

 

And to be completely honest, we’re (or at least I) getting a little nervous. It's finally here... 

!!!!!!!!

 

There have been a lot of changes for us in the last few weeks. Good changes. Changes we’ve been praying about regarding our work situations. So please help us continue to pray about these things.

 

Also, we’ve been given a great opportunity coming up in about 2 weeks. I can’t give it away yet, but it’s a pretty big deal to us. I know, I know – I’m being terribly cryptic, but it’s adoption/travel fee related. We’ll share some more information about it later this week/next week, with maybe a little “sneak peak”!

 

The embassy will email us when they’ve sent their decision back here to NBC/USCIS. As soon as they do, we’ll be sure to let you guys know!

 

Thank you guys for all your prayers!