Thursday, December 18, 2014

Hard pressed

We do not have any good news for you guys. Just that it's not yet over. We’re going to have to keep fighting.


We found out today, after the team in Ethiopia met with some officials:


“what we took away from it is that while there is no intention to close ICA and no specific goal toward denying any particular children, there does seem to be a very politicized effort to delay and discourage cases from being released/approved for ICA”


ICA means inter-country adoption. Meaning the delays are merely a political strategy; my daughter is in an orphanage because the powers that be aren’t sure they want to continue with inter-country adoptions.


All we know is as of right now, we should eventually get travel clearance. We aren’t sure how long until we get it and we aren’t even sure if they’ll change their minds and deny us travel at all. We’re still waiting on more answers from our agency.


Right now, I’m not feeling much in the way of emotions. Mostly because I think I’m refusing to believe that the delay could go on for a few more weeks or months.


I’m in denial.


We likely won’t hear any more news in regards to our case this week. Next week is Christmas, so if we don’t hear anything by Wednesday, we won’t hear anything until the following week. 

The team in Ethiopia has another meeting next week, one they’re hoping will help to pressure the Ministry to sign off on all waiting cases. We’ll have to wait and see at this point.


I can’t quite describe to you the feelings that come with knowing that there is no reason for these delays; other than to simply delay and discourage adoption. I can’t quite describe to you the feeling that comes with knowing that my daughter is 8,000 miles away, waiting for me to come and get her.


This hurts. Beyond belief.


I’m dreading the look on my boys’ face when I tell them it will still be a while before we get to bring their sister home.




They’re understanding now how much this wait hurts. They have a good enough grasp on time, that they know this has taken forever and will take even more time.


KC and I have decided to spend some time the next few days praying and fasting. Not only for us, but the other families who are waiting. Our agency has 8 families waiting for their signature. I can’t imagine the number of parents waiting with other agencies.


“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”


Friends, please continue to pray on behalf of these families and these children. We can all use as many prayers as we can get. ❤️



{“But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.” –Hebrews 10:39}



Thursday, December 4, 2014

Winding down

As another week is winding down with no news, we have to face the harsh reality that we may not be together this year.


We may not be together for Christmas.


Things may drag on through January.


This isn’t just us assuming so – this is coming from our coordinator.


Travel before Christmas is highly unlikely.


As much as we hate the news, we are so grateful for the transparency with our agency. I know it’s hard for our coordinator to continually deliver bad news, but I’d prefer to know.


We’ll have the end of year US holiday on the 25th (Christmas), the first US holiday of the year on the 1st (New Year’s), and the Ethiopian holiday on January 7th (Ethiopian Christmas). So unfortunately, things could most certainly be delayed well into the second week of January.


We also haven’t heard from the orphanage yet in regards to our note we sent our dear girl.


We don’t know what to say other than this. really. really. sucks.


Everything is at a standstill, and there is nothing that anyone can do about it.


(This is taking so much longer than it ever should have. Saturday marks 10 months since we got “the call”.)


We’re stuck in limbo, and it bites.


Remember in Star Wars Episode 1 when Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan are fighting Darth Maul? And those barrier things come up and they have to wait a few minutes before they can resume fighting?


wish I could be like Qui-Gon Jinn and rest. Meditate. Prepare myself for the remainder of the fight. But I feel more like Darth Maul. Pacing back and forth, hitting the barrier in the hopes that it’ll come down faster. 


Every night it’s hard to go to bed. Because every night I get panicked that it could be another day of no news. 

KC and I were talking last night, and I told him it’s like Ground Hogs Day. The same thing. Over. And over. And over. The boys are so sad every day that “we don’t get the letter for Bertie”. They continue asking everyday. 


We’re still waiting, and it’s seems like there’s no end in sight.


I’m a mom. A mom who is 8,000 miles away from her child. A mom who has missed 5 birthdays, the chicken pox, and her first lost tooth.


We’re a family who is trying hard to wait patiently, but cannot. But HE is my refuge. All I can do is keep crying out to Him. To hold us, and to comfort us.


To hold her, and to comfort her.  ❤️



{Then you shall call and The Lord will answer; you shall cry and He will say, 'Here I am.'   ~Isaiah 58:9}



Tuesday, December 2, 2014

The continued pause

We still have not received our signature. MOWA was "closed" yesterday and is in “all day training” and won’t issue signatures today.


Some days, I don’t have anything remotely wise or uplifting to say. 

Some days, when we get news that we’re still in the thick of waiting, I can only take a deep breath and prepare my heart.


KC and I are at a loss. We’re upset and just dumbfounded at the continued delays for one signature. 


Please friends, continue to pray for our hearts. For the boys’ hearts. For Bertie’s heart.


We’ve bared our hearts and soul and left them wide open. With each delay, I’m nervous that it’s leading up to bad news. 

I’m terrified of them changing their minds. Those are the thoughts that continue to creep into my mind, try as hard as I may to keep them away. 


It takes an enormous amount of courage to do the things that He asks you to. 

And some days, I feel like I’m not brave enough to do it.


Today, I don’t feel brave. Or strong. 


But I’ll continue praying to the One who is. 


For peace. For courage. For trust. ❤️


I’ll leave you with a piece of my devotional from this morning. I’ve included the link at the bottom for the full version.



Waiting can feel empty and desperately lonely.

And waiting can feel small.

It can feel worthless.

Being the one who is always waiting can defeat you from the inside.

We are quick to dismiss waiting as a waste of time. We want to be doing.

{The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waitingGod’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along.}

Romans 8:22-28 (The Message).