Our Arrival

As I'm typing this, I'm sitting in bed at the guest house with all the windows and patio door open feeling the cool Ethiopian breeze. It's taken us a day, but I think our bodies are adjusting to the time change. I'm rested enough to update you guys on what has transpired so far. 

(Oh, we put the stinky suitcase on the balcony, in the sun... It smells soooo much better!)

At 10:30am on Thursday, we were taking off from D.C. on a direct flight to Addis Ababa. I think that's when it hit. I feel slightly frightened as I realized this was it. We were on our way to Ethiopia. We kept ourselves occupied on the flight, but every time I'd check our flight progress, I noticed I became more panicked the closer we got. 

When we landed, I had only a moment to be frightened before we went through the medical check, visa line, immigration line, currency exchange, through the baggage line, one more bag check, and finally out of the airport where we were greeted my Mr. M holding up a sign that said Bethany. Plus, Aubrey texted me a picture of him, so I knew what he looked like. I'll interject here and say that Mr. M is only 32. He is so friendly and full of energy. He made us feel right at home. 

We loaded up in the van and headed to the guest house. 

Driving in the capital of Ethiopia is wild! There are no specific lanes, everyone just weaves in and out and you're so close to other vehicles you could reach out the window and touch them. Car horns are also used quite frequently. People cross the street at any point in all the traffic, trusting that the vehicles will slow down long enough to cross. (Search on YouTube for traffic in Addis Ababa for an idea.)

We made it to the guest house and got settled in. M told us that we'd have Friday and most of Saturday to relax. Tonight, he's taking us for a traditional Ethiopian dinner. I believe we'll see some traditional dance too. 

He said his goodbye and KC and I found ourselves standing in the room. Tired, exhausted, and on an emotional high. 

We stood there quietly for some time. 

KC asked me how I was doing and what I was thinking. I just shrugged and said "I dunno". 

If you know me, you know I'm a talker. Happy, sad, angry, hungry... I talk. But I just had nothing to say in this moment. 

KC told me I was freaking him out and needed to say something. I told him I wasn't thinking anything and didn't have much to say. Hint: that was a lie. I was having a panic attack. 

I was all of a sudden terrified at how real this was. Of meeting her, of staying here alone with her, of traveling alone with her... I was shocked at how it was affecting me. 

After we started unpacking, I began to calm down. I then told KC that I had a moment of terror. He laughed and said so did he. 

I think we'd been waiting so long and the actual travel happened so quick, we didn't have a chance to digest it all until we were standing in a room 8,000 miles away from home. 

We talked about how different everything is going to be from this point on. Not just in the family aspect, but in another big way as we've felt that the finalization of the adoption is going to be a turning point for us. 

It's exciting and terrifying at the same time! But my wise husband said it best: That's what makes it so great. If it weren't so scary, everyone would do it. 

So here we are, in Ethiopia, waiting to meet our daughter. Knowing that once we get home, things will never be the same. 

And that is okay with us.  ❤️

About halfway through our flight. I promise KC isn't angry. Just tired. 

Sunrise as we were landing in Ethiopia 

View from our room

Sunrise Saturday morning 

Yummy breakfast this morning

Leaving on a jet plane!

I don't know about you, but I start singing that line like Steve Buscemi in Armageddon. Makes me giggle every time. 

Ok. Catch up time friends! 

I'm typing this while sitting at the airport in DC about to board a 15+ hour flight to Ethiopia. 

My last post was on January 30th. We had FINALLY gotten our positive recommendation letter. 

We had expected our court date the following week. However, the judge was out of town from Wednesday to Friday and we found out on Friday. Haha! 

Then, surprise surprise, our coordinator Mrs. J called me at 7am on Monday morning. Our court date was scheduled for the 19th! Only 10 days away. 

We jumped into what my sister called "survival mode". KC and I wrapped up work on Monday, ran last minute errands and spent a lot of time with the boys Tuesday, and hopped on a flight to DC on Wednesday, my birthday. 

Our flight to Ethiopia didn't leave until Thursday morning. (PS. Our TSA agent lady wished me a belated birthday after checking my passport. Hehe!)

So here we're sitting, waiting to fly to our daughters birth country. 

So many emotions! 

We'll arrive at 7am tomorrow. We'll get acclimated over the weekend, and will travel to the orphanage Mon...

Sorry. I was interrupted by my 7 year old texting me videos through wifi using our spare iPhone.  Haha!

We will travel to the orphanage on Monday, stay overnight, and head back to Addis on Tuesday and have 1 day of time before our court date. And she'll be officially a Collins. 

Eeek!

We are so thankful for you guys and for all the prayers. We couldn't have made it to this point without you guys. We can't wait to share pictures with you after next Thursday!! 

Surreal!

Guys. It’s been almost 8 hours since we found out that we finally cleared MOWA and received our positive recommendation letter.

 

It doesn’t feel real! I mean, we’re CRAZY excited, but after waiting for so long, I don’t think it’s fully set in that we’ll be leaving soon to meet our daughter and bring her home.

 

BRING. HER. HOME.

 

I don’t think it will hit until KC and I are sitting on that airplane about to fly out.

 

We’ve had a lot of you ask us what’s next. Well, we got our letter and the team immediately took it over to the courts so that we could be issued a court date.

 

It generally takes 1-3 days for the court to issue a court date.

 

And that’s it guys. 

 

Once we have our court date (probably by Monday or Tuesday), KC and I will be heading out. The last family that cleared MOWA had a court date of only 1 week out! They left almost immediately. So there’s a good chance we could be leaving by mid-week next week or at the latest the following week. Either way, we’ll be heading to Ethiopia in about a week and a half!

 

YAY!!!! I can’t believe it!

 

Now, once we clear court, that’s when we’ll be able to share her beautiful face with you guys!

 

KC will be coming home after court, while I stay in-country to get her passport, visa, and to finalize everything with the US embassy so that she’s a citizen as soon as we step foot on US soil. I could be there an additional 2-4 weeks. 

 

And then, we come home!!! ❤️

 

And I know everyone’s curious – we will be hunkering down at home for a few weeks before we go anywhere. This will give her time to adjust to us here at home and to get in a routine.

 

We’ll give everyone the opportunity to meet her at the airport before we begin our “cocooning”.

 

We want to be absolutely sure that it’s as smooth of a transition as possible for our girl. There will be some hard times over the next few weeks and months, but we’ll be here with her and for her. So please bear with us as we all adjust. 

 

We’re hers forever. 

  

 

PS: Here’s a link to “cocooning” if you’re interested in reading up on it. The main idea is that we are her providers – we will be giving her food, drink, hugs, kisses, taking care of boo-boo’s etc. for the foreseeable future. That way, she knows we’re going to take care of her. 

 

http://yestoadoption.blogspot.com/2012/04/what-is-cocooning-and-why-are-you-doing.html?m=1 

 

  

    

Hard pressed

We do not have any good news for you guys. Just that it's not yet over. We’re going to have to keep fighting.

 

We found out today, after the team in Ethiopia met with some officials:

 

“what we took away from it is that while there is no intention to close ICA and no specific goal toward denying any particular children, there does seem to be a very politicized effort to delay and discourage cases from being released/approved for ICA”

 

ICA means inter-country adoption. Meaning the delays are merely a political strategy; my daughter is in an orphanage because the powers that be aren’t sure they want to continue with inter-country adoptions.

 

All we know is as of right now, we should eventually get travel clearance. We aren’t sure how long until we get it and we aren’t even sure if they’ll change their minds and deny us travel at all. We’re still waiting on more answers from our agency.

 

Right now, I’m not feeling much in the way of emotions. Mostly because I think I’m refusing to believe that the delay could go on for a few more weeks or months.

 

I’m in denial.

 

We likely won’t hear any more news in regards to our case this week. Next week is Christmas, so if we don’t hear anything by Wednesday, we won’t hear anything until the following week. 

The team in Ethiopia has another meeting next week, one they’re hoping will help to pressure the Ministry to sign off on all waiting cases. We’ll have to wait and see at this point.

 

I can’t quite describe to you the feelings that come with knowing that there is no reason for these delays; other than to simply delay and discourage adoption. I can’t quite describe to you the feeling that comes with knowing that my daughter is 8,000 miles away, waiting for me to come and get her.

 

This hurts. Beyond belief.

 

I’m dreading the look on my boys’ face when I tell them it will still be a while before we get to bring their sister home.

 

DREADING IT.

 

They’re understanding now how much this wait hurts. They have a good enough grasp on time, that they know this has taken forever and will take even more time.

 

KC and I have decided to spend some time the next few days praying and fasting. Not only for us, but the other families who are waiting. Our agency has 8 families waiting for their signature. I can’t imagine the number of parents waiting with other agencies.

 

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

 

Friends, please continue to pray on behalf of these families and these children. We can all use as many prayers as we can get. ❤️

 

 

{“But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.” –Hebrews 10:39}

  

  

 

Thanksgiving

Last week, KC, the boys, and I were able to take a quick picture and email it along with a note to our agency to give to Bertie. They in turn forwarded it to the team in Ethiopia to translate and email to the orphanage.

 

They had tried for the last several days to get the message sent, but the orphanages internet connectivity was down.

 

Amazingly, the orphanage manager was in Addis Ababa today for a meeting with our agency’s team. Our social worker Miss M. was able to give him the note and picture for her. He’ll be traveling back up north at the end of the week.

 

We're excited to say that Bertie will get our message and picture by the end of the week!! Miss M will call the orphanage next week to see how she received it and what she’s feeling.

 

I’m ever so thankful for technology and God’s perfect timing.

 

This has been a crazy, stressful, and trying few months. But you already knew that. To have something so big and important so close you can almost touch it, just to have it pulled away at the last second – it’s maddening to say the least. 

 

And it’s been like that every week for the last ten weeks.

 

Right now, everything is lining up perfectly for the head of MOWA to sign off on our case tomorrow. They are back in the office and our file should be the first one reviewed tomorrow. 

 

But, as we’ve seen the last few weeks, we know that it could still go either way. And with the American holiday at the end of the week, we could still be in limbo until next Monday. 

 

We're cautiously optimistic... But we will be so grateful if we hear good news tomorrow!

 

As it stands, we’re already excited that she’ll be able to get our note in a few days. We just stressed how much we love her, miss her, and can’t wait to see her.

 

Guys – she’s getting SO big. She’s lost a lot of her baby-ish features. AND she lost two of her bottom teeth!

 

We are also so thankful for Aubrey and her family. They have given us so much information to help the trip go smoother. They’ve shared additional pictures, videos, and tips with us. They even left us a little care package at the Bethany office in Ethiopia!

We're grateful to have advice from someone who was just there. 

 

So despite all the delays, setbacks, hurdles, and tears – we’re finding the blessings and silver linings in it all.

 

And despite all the delays, setbacks, hurdles, and tears… I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even if you gave me full disclosure at the beginning, we'd still go through it all again. ❤️

  

  

The hard

I'm not gonna lie. Today was a bit rough. 

Guys. Adoption is hard. This is hard. Being halfway across the world away from your child is hard. 

Physically, emotionally, spiritually, and every other -ally. 

The last few weeks, I've tried very hard not to cry each time we heard bad news. I've done pretty well. 

But I think it was just damming all the emotions. Because this weekend was difficult. 

I didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want anyone to ask me questions. Because I didn't think I had enough strength to hold the tears in. 

Turns out, I didn't. 

As I was sitting in church today and the first song started in worship, I couldn't hold it in. And I didn't (for whatever reason I had in my mind) want to cry buckets of tears sitting on the front row. 

So I made my way to the bathroom as quickly as I could. And I cried in the stall for the remaining 2 songs. 

I freshened up and walked back out like I was fine and hoped that the message was something irrelevant. 

It wasn't. 

Pastor Casey asked us to open up to Luke 18:1. 

{Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.}

Not. Give. Up. 

Another translation says "not to lose heart". 

I couldn't help but bow my head and sigh. 

But it was what I needed to hear. 

I always question whether or not I should share so much with you guys.  But I always decide to, because I want you to understand (as best as you can seeing this from the outside) what we're feeling. 

I don't know what He's doing. I cannot imagine what the need would be for so many delays. 

But trying to figure it out wouldn't help. It would probably only make things harder. 

We may never know the reasons. And I'm becoming okay with that. 

We just have to make sure that we can dust ourselves off and keep trusting Him. 

It's hard. But I'm going to keep praying and hoping that this is the week. 

I'll do anything to hold her. And I know that will be one of our greatest moments. ❤️ 

  

  

Rumor has it

Yes, I’m aware you probably now have Adele’s song stuck in your head. You’re welcome. 

Don’t fight it. Just sing. And dance. It makes Tuesday better. Pinky promise. Hehehe.

 

Um, so, anyways…….

 

We’ve been told that MOWA is rumored to open back up on November 3rd; that’s next Monday. We’re praying that this rumor is actually the truth! We are more than ready to get our positive recommendation letter and court date to travel.

 

We’re not sure when our court date could be though. MOWA had not issued many positive letters before they closed. So our agency doesn’t know how far out court scheduling could be and won’t know until someone makes it through. 

We’re hoping we make it through next week!  

 

We also found out that instead of taking a 4-5 day driving trip to Bertie’s orphanage, we’ll now be flying. The good news definitely outweighs the bad with this change though!

 

A. We’ll get to Bertie’s orphanage sooner

B. It’ll only be about $100 more than what we budgeted for

C. The trip will only take about 2 ½ days.

 

The only downside is that we don’t get a chance to be at the orphanage for very long. I would’ve enjoyed spending more time with the people who were her family while we she was there.

 

Prayerfully, only a few more days of waiting. At this point, it will be almost 9 months to the day since we first saw her face.

 

Uh, so I only just realized that that is the length of a pregnancy! Ha! 

I told you, I’m easily amused and that revelation just made me chuckle. This has been a long 9 months, but just like we felt when we finally met our boys, I know we’ll feel the same way when we finally meet her.

 

And social media will be flooded (well, depending on the reliability of the wiffy) with pictures and videos of her. Oh happy day!

 

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Oh. One more prayer request please:

 

With all the uncertainty of travel dates and the possibility that we could be there longer than 4 weeks (and could miss both big holidays with the boys), KC and I have decided that he will come home after 3-4 weeks no matter what. 

I will be in Ethiopia alone with B for a week or two and will *likely* be traveling home solo unless our plan works out – not sure about that though. 

BUT I’m totally not worried either way, which is a bit of a surprise honestly. I know I can do this. 

 

KC and I feel confident that this is the best choice for our family, so please no negativity m-kay? Leaving your kiddos for 4 weeks is hard enough without throwing in being gone over Thanksgiving and possibly Christmas…. 

Only sunshine and rainbows here guys.

 

So amigas and amigos – this is where we are. We’re so thankful for your prayers, words of encouragement, and little gifts for our trip (like extra Shout Wipes – thanks Cara!).

 

Jou guys are de besssst! ❤️ 

  

Battle of the Atlantic

Odd title post for me right? Well, that's because today's post comes courtesy of Mr. Collins. 

In case you missed the news on our Facebook group, MOWA decided to close for 10 days and not give anyone any warning. So, our file still has not been approved and now won't be reviewed until at least November 3rd when they open back up. 

Unless they open back up sooner, we won't get our positive recommendation letter OR be given our court date until that first week of November. 

We won't be traveling until sometime in mid-November now. It's hard to wait a few more weeks, but I know we can make it. 

With all that said, here are a few words from my amazing husband. You guys are in for a treat. 

------------------------------------

The Battle of the Atlantic was the largest and longest naval battle in history and the longest campaign in WW2. It virtually lasted the entire war. The battle for the Atlantic was to WW2 what WW2 was to the world. 3,500 merchant ships and 175 warships were sunk for the loss of 783 German U-boats. Churchill said that regardless of what else was happening, this constant battle was on his mind. If they lost the ocean, they lost the war. 

Our adoption battle, so far in our marriage, has been our battle of the Atlantic.  This has been our longest and hardest battle, and most rewarding. I believe these years will define us for a long time. Not just because we are adopting a beautiful little girl, but also because of the work the Holy Spirit has done in us through our almost 4 year long struggle against self, weariness, pride, finances, insecurities, and doubt. 

I am the man of the house. I'm the family's "pastor". The spiritual leader. And there is something odd I am beginning to fully comprehend in all this. 

"You don't get many moments like these. We must make the most of them. "

You've read this blog. So you must be wondering, make the most of your wife's tears? Make the most her pain and struggles? Make the most of testing your kid's patience for their sister? Make the most of my own pain and struggle?

Yes. Yes, that is exactly right. 

My own selfishness has to go out of the window when it's easier to get angry and bitter than it is to hold my angry wife. My pride in my own strength and abilities, finely tuned by years in the military which I thought made me invincible, has to sit down and shut up like a school kid in the corner when a 3rd world government puts on the brakes for the umpteenth time. 

And in these moments I've learned God gives me strength when I don't have it, and is my strength when I can't use it. 

I've learned you can't encourage your spouse with, "Just sit here and be quiet and pray more." (As spiritual and wise as that sounds). She needs to hear, "I love you and you are doing great. And God loves us, too."

Mr. Fix-it can't fix my daughter's questions half a world away, wondering where that family is that said we were coming to get her. He can't fix his wife's pain. He can't fix all of his financial problems. He can't fix a broken system or unhelpful government officials. 

But our battle has taught me I wasn't called to fix it all. I was called to point my family to the only one who can. And I can't do that by fixing our attitudes. I have to fix our eyes on Jesus. And they look at what I'm looking at. 

If we are to make the most of these moments, we must understand we are not fighting to get through the courts, or raise enough money, or even just adopt a daughter. 

We don't win when we win this battle. We all win, my whole family wins, when God wins our hearts. 

We make the most of these moments by letting God make the most out of us. 

James 1:4
Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.


KC Collins

  

  

Negative recommendation letter número dos

Yes friends, you read that right. Haha!

 

MOWA issued us another negative recommendation letter because we didn’t have a certain form in our file. An original form that has never been requested before, but is now required as part of their new processes and procedures.

 

Our file looked great! It’s just that form that they now need.

 

The good news is, that original form with all original signatures is in the office in Ethiopia and Mr. F will be taking it to court tomorrow.

 

And now, for the bad news:

 

It will still take a few days for the head of MOWA to review the document so that our positive recommendation letter can be issued. Then, it will be at least a day or two before court will give us our court date.

 

They should review our file and give us our letter the same day. So at least we won’t have to wait days before we get the letter (hopefully).

 

Best case scenario, we’re looking at getting an official court date sometime late next week.

 

Worst case scenario, it could still be another 2 weeks.

 

We’ll know more tomorrow when we find out what “court date” MOWA is given to review our file.

 

At this point, I don’t think we’ll be traveling much at all with the Clarks.

 

Right now, we’re looking at a court date the first or second week of November.

 

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It has been 8 ½ months since we first saw our girls face. It’s been almost a month since she found out who we were and that we were coming for her.

 

This. Is. HARD.

 

I don't want to stop going. I want to keep singing no matter what comes against us. 

 

Right now, I still am, but it feels like it’s more of a whisper or a hum.

 

He is still good. And He still has me.

 

But, gosh, this keeps getting harder...

 

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“Still my soul will sing Your praise unending….

 

One more week may not seem like a long time, but when you’ve heard “should be next week” for 6-7 weeks now, it gets kind of difficult to make it through each day.

 

But guys, we’re in no way giving up.

 

Not on her.

 

And definitely not on Him.

 

Still, we’d love to continue to receive your prayers. Lord knows our hearts could use them.

 

And thank you, for fighting this battle alongside us. You are appreciated more than words could say.  ❤️

 

 

{“Lord, You know the hopes of the helpless. Surely You will hear their cries and comfort them” -Psalm 10:17}

 

 

(Oh, and please forgive me if I burst into tears at random moments. I try to avoid it, but sometimes a thought comes into my head and it forces those tears out. Haha! I’m definitely appreciating the fact that my office is in the back corner of the building on days like this.)

 

 

And again….

MOWA has new processes and procedures in place. Therefore, our file was not reviewed at the court date appointed especially for us for reasons unbeknownst to our agency or the team in Ethiopia. There are now 3 hoops to jump through before MOWA will even send our file to court to be issued a court date.

 

We’re apparently at the 2^nd hoop.

 

On Friday afternoon.

 

Our agency is doing everything they can to get us a court date. But MOWA seems to be making it more and more difficult. No one is sure what’s going on with them anymore. There are many new officials in MOWA and at court and it doesn’t seem like anyone there knows what’s going on.

 

That’s pretty much all we can tell you guys.

 

There’s nothing more that KC and I can do. We’re at their mercy.

 

It’s hard guys. I mean, crazy and ridiculously hard.

 

At this point, we won’t be in Africa until the very end of the month.

 

I highly doubt we’ll get to leave next Friday like we all were hoping.

 

We might be a little quiet this weekend and next week. I don’t want to post updates that aren’t really updates.

 

We’re still holding tight despite how hard the wind is blowing.

 

I have no doubt that we won’t be there soon, it’s just that each delay and new procedure is tiring.

 

Physically.

 

Emotionally.

 

Spiritually.

 

It’s a fine line that KC and I are treading. Between remaining hopeful and not crossing over and becoming bitter and cynical. It’s easy to wake up one day and realize you’ve crossed that line.

 

But I’ve got to remember that our hope isn’t in man. Or courts. Or organizations; it’s in Him.

 

And even though we’re tired and exhausted and feel like we can’t hold on any more,

 

We know He’s still there holding us.

 

Throughout this whole process – from day one – I don’t think I could have made it if I didn’t have hope.

 

Yes this is hard. Yes the delays suck. Yes I’ve wanted to give up. Yes I’m dying to hold my daughter.

 

YES. THIS IS CRAZY HARD.

 

But it’s SO worth it! I gladly take these ups and downs with the knowledge that Bertie will be with us soon.

 

(That doesn’t mean I can’t cry about the hiccups we encounter, because I can.)

 

He never promised me that things would be easy. But He promised me that He’d be with me each and every painful step of the way.

 

He’s always there.