Monday, August 29, 2011

My darling Effie

So - awhile back I posted about what our daughters new name was going to be. Santi Raquel Collins. God gave KC the name Santi last year when we just barely started this journey. We know it's significant, but not 100% sure how exactly. So we made that part of her name. Raquel is my middle name and we wanted it to be part of hers as well. Now, let me tell you a little something: KC had veto power when it came to Caedmon and Oliver's names with the agreement that I would get to pick the name if we ever had a girl. Well, I've been praying - more like pleading, but hey! Fair's fair right? Lol - about another name for her. For the past 4 months.... nuthin'. I have criteria and it seemed like none of the names I was coming across were going to work out. 1. It has to be a long name 2. It has to have a cute nickname 3. It should be an older name (so that's why it needs to have a nickname. A lot of the names are too big for a little girl) 4. It cannot remind me of anyone/anything in a somber way 4. It COULD NOT be a super popular name. 5. It had to have a good strong meaning. 6. God had to approve.
I know, I know. Long list. haha. Well, I had a way of finding names. I had a list of nicknames I loved and looked for longer names to go with them. Here's my list: Millie, Lenni, Effie, Addie, Emmy. Not a whole lot to work with. Long story short, almost all of the names that would work using those as nicknames were either super popular - Amelia (Millie) - or had meanings that weren't what we wanted - Eleanor (Lenni). So, as I was nearing the end of my list and searching for Effie, I just couldn't torture her with a name like Euphemia or Ophelia (the poster child of teenage angst and suffering? Thanks Wikipedia). Then, I came across JOSEPHINE. But, it went against rule #4. I have a Tia Josefina in Mexico.... not very friendly. My dad and his brothers have a big piece of land that my grandfather left them. My fathers is larger than the others. She would move the fence line making my uncles land bigger - she'd do it a little each year so it wasn't suspicious. They eventually found out. But she's just NOT a friendly woman. I didn't like going to her house (the few times I remember being there). She just made me.... uncomfortable. So I definitely didn't like the idea of naming our daughter the same thing. NOR did I want to engage in a deep discussion with my 30 (okay, exaggeration) other aunts on why I named her after that aunt. Lol. Well, God has other plans doesn't He? Her name is going to be Josephine. Haha. It means 'God will increase'. KC and I prayed about it and it was perfect! A. God was increasing our family through her. and B. just 2 days after we began praying about it, KC received the largest paycheck he's ever gotten since he started working from home. His check allowed us to replenish our adoption account after we spent over $2,000 to fix our car. That's another story. Lol. We felt like it was perfect. AND it had the nickname I've always loved. God has a way of giving you what you want - maybe not quite the way you'd expect, but He does. I've always prayed for a daughter, even before I was married. I'm getting one, not in the traditional sense, but in an equally exciting way.

God has been revealing things to my heart through this journey that I never would have expected. I'm learning more about who I am in Him and I'm learning about my strength in Him. His showing me things that I need to change, things I need to allow Him to change. And through it all, the message is the same. 'You are my darling, my little girl. I will always be here no matter what.' It's taken me awhile to get used to that idea due to circumstances with my dad, but I'm seeing new ways to love and trust in my heavenly Father. I think this journey is about more than just the adoption. I've grown so much in Him these past 2 years, especially the last 9 months. I know He's teaching me things through this journey that I'll need for the other plans He has for our lives. Some things, He's revealed to us and they freak me out! haha. But I'm doing all that I can to follow the plan for our lives.

Random (it wouldn't be me if it wasn't random), but have you noticed that my posts always start out about the adoption, then tend to go off on what seems like a tangent? Lol. Hey, I just type what's on my mind. Just be glad I'm not posting about who Lenni, Tuck and Ming Ming just saved on Wonder Pets.  ;)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Is this it?

So, I'm sure a lot of you have seen, read, or heard about the famine that has hit Somalia, Ethiopia and Kenya the last few weeks. I know Somalia is being hit pretty hard and it's just trickling down to parts of Ethiopia and Kenya. To be honest, I would never have thought much about it before now. I would have maybe said a prayer about it while reading some intense article. But now, it's so much closer to our hearts. KC and I were talking about it the other day and our conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Ya know, the more I think about the famine and drought that's going on there, it's killing me! I want to have this process done and over with. I just want to have her here.
KC: I know, I know what  you mean. But we have to be patient and wait on God.
Me: I know. I just can't help but think that this is the event that may cause her to be orphaned - if she isn't already. Just that she's already going to experience something so tragic so early on in her life. Like, in order for her to be here with us, she'll be orphaned there.
KC: Yeah, but just think of it like this - last October God laid it on our hearts to adopt. IF this famine is what brings her to us that means that last October He KNEW that this was going to happen, called us to adopt so that she COULD have a family after this thing. You have to look at it that way. Again, IF this is what causes her to be orphaned, then God called us then to help her now.
(KC always knows the right thing to say to calm my frenzied mind. lol)

As much as I want her here and I want to get this process started (do you sense a pattern in my posts? Lol) I know that God has everything lined up for us. For example: a new thing we've discovered is that in order to adopt an infant, we both need to be 25. Well, I'll be 25 in 6 months. That's not something we originally caught. We match all other criteria - but that might cause a hold-up if we started now. God is teaching us patience through this. But man it's hard!

So here's some info about what's been going on in our lives. Oh, did I tell you all that we had car troubles? Well, we finally got our car fixed but it cost us $2,000!!! Then, we spent 300 on our van to get the battery replaced and the A/C fixed - but the A/C still doesn't work... I know. Once you pick yourself up off the ground, you can continue reading. Lol. So, that was hard b/c we did have to dip into our adoption savings account to get it taken care of. MAN was that hard. I came this close to having a major meltdown. But God told me that I needed to trust Him in the big things not just the little ones. I'm still learning things from Him.  :) 

We did get the boys set up in their own room. The bunk bed is setup and they LOVE it! We still have some more stuff to do in there. But I'll post pictures as soon as I get a chance. We'll start working on Santi's room in the next few months. She has her bed and her Hope chest, we just need to add some details. I'm really wanting to add some forest theme to it. I have a thing for hedgehogs. So, I want to incorporate this picture from Beatrix Potter in somehow. (below) Either in a painting or painted on her wall. I need to brush up on my sewing so I can make the quilts for her and the boys. I'm also going to be SUPER-ambitious and try to make her a crib bumper. Those things are expensive! haha! The problem is going to be finding time to sit down and work on them.

I've really been listening to God lately. These classes at church (Freedom Ministries) have been such a big blessing. It's allowing me to look at ideas and concepts much differently than I had in the past. And it's helping boost my confidence in hearing God. That's something I've struggled with for a long time. Well, I better finish getting ready for church. I'll try to post more often.   :)