Wait. That is the worst 4 letter word ever. I honestly do not think that I am exaggerating that. For serious. The hardest thing anyone can tell me to do is wait. And it feels like that’s all the last 3 years have been about:
I lost my job – gotta find a new one.
We want to have a third child.
We’re going to adopt!
KC’s looking for a new job.
We’re looking to buy a house.
We found a house and everything looks great!
Waiting is hard. And going along with the ‘waiting’ theme of our life, is the ‘ you’ve got to fight really, really hard’ and then ‘wait’.
KC and I were talking about this today. I sometimes feel like that’s all we do is wait and fight and wait some more. You see a lot of people that are like 1, 2, 3 and done! And we’re over here all 1, 2, 3, 4, Q, pony, G, purple, 5, redo 2, 6, 7, do-the-hokey-pokey annnnnnddddddd done. Go ahead and laugh. I had to after I typed it! Now don’t take this as me being all Debbie Downer. Because I’m not, really. I love that God still does things differently with us. KC and I knew that our life would look different than a lot of our family and friends – and it most certainly does.
But sometimes, it’d be nice to have something happen smoothly – no bumps or delays or do overs. KC and I are praying about some big stuff (how can it get bigger than adopting AND buying a house? Trust me, it can. Haha!), and we know we just have to wait for a clear answer. And to be honest, sometimes I’m afraid that His answer won’t be what I want. I’d have to say 95% of the time, I’m like ‘okay God, no biggie, I’ll just do something else’. But guys, this one is a biggie to me.
I know God has this. I know that a lot of aspects of this are out of my control, like so many things in our life. But I’m in this season of ‘just wait’, and while I’m learning and growing, I feel like it’s been like this for a while. I’m ready to do something more.
Do you ever feel that way? Like you have something pressing on your heart and you’re ready to go and dive into the deep? How do you deal with waiting for a clear answer from God? <3