We’re tired. Things feel a bit muddled.
· Trying to get that last piece needed for the dossier
· Praying we get it in the mail to Little Rock by next Tuesday or Wednesday
· Praying we get a mid-October court date
· Trying to get everything ready for school starting on Monday
· Trying to plan for being gone during the school year (and likely over Thanksgiving)
· Trying to slowly start buying Christmas gifts so we don’t have to worry once we get back
· Trying to ignore the rude and insensitive remarks made about our family and the decisions we make with God’s leading
Right now, that’s kind of where we’re at and how we’re feeling.
We’re trying to keep ourselves occupied by doing some things around the house.
It’s hard to keep your mind distracted sometimes. But we’re trying.
We found out this week that we could get a court date given to us during the “closing”. Apparently, the judges are the only ones out during the rainy season. The clerks are still there working.
So there’s a chance we could be given our date before the courts officially open.
However… (are you expecting those from us now? Haha!)
Our sweet coordinator who, bless her, has had to deliver a lot of bad news to us recently, told us that right now they are scheduling couples with positive letters in mid-October into late October.
That’s for those who are “paper ready” right now.
Unfortunately, that’s not us.
Hence (always a fun word), the likelihood of us getting an October court date is looking slim. At this rate, it’s more likely to be early November.
Our friends received word that they are scheduled for October 16. So we may not travel together after all.
I think sometimes you just get to a place that you hear more, for lack of a better word, crappy news and you just stare at those words, sigh, and then kind of purse your lips.
And you have to be careful because you don’t want to turn into this “hope for the best, but expect the worst” kind of person.
That was the beat I followed and it wasn’t pleasant.
So while you’re staring at those words glaring back at you, you summon everything you can and utter a small moan.
He knows. He understands all the pain, frustration, and weariness that is contained in that moan.
And you know what?
Despite all the crappiness and chaos, He is still good. He is for me.
And He is still worth it.
Did you catch that?
HE. IS. STILL. WORTH. IT.
I want to be open with you guys; I promised I would be through this blog.
I want to be real and honest and talk about the ups and downs of adoption, life, my walk with Him.
BUT I always, always want to make sure you understand that line.
Things may not ever go the way that I want them to. We’ll face battles and trials; and we’ll feel like fireballs are heading straight for us.
And in that particular moment, life might feel like it pretty much bites the big one; things might just suck.
But it’s only for a season, and HE IS STILL WORTH IT. All of it.
We are not naïve.
We are not weak.
We are not grasping at straws.
We are putting our trust and hope in something greater than ourselves.
While in this moment things may seem messy and chaotic to me, they aren’t to Him.
So yes, today might feel a bit crappy. But He is still worth anything that may get thrown my way.
And friends, looking back through time, I know we’re in good company.