Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Well.... Shootie Patootie.

We received an email from Lifesong today in regards to the adoption gran/loan we applied for. We're sorry to say that due to the high number of applicants and limited amount of financial resources, we were not awarded the grant. This was the larger one we applied for and it could have potentially taken care of a BIG chunk of our remaining fees. So, yes, it (for lack of a better word) sucks. It's not that we had all of our hopes resting on this grant, we were just getting a tad weary and would have been elated to get this because it would mean that this battle was over. As much as it "sucks", we're not brooding about it. Because all that will lead to is bitterness and resentment. And there is no way I'm letting those guys back into my heart.  :)

This just means that God is going about this COMPLETELY differently for us than he has for other families we've known. I don't know how He's going to do it, but He is. We're in this rough patch right now, a dry spell if you will. And it has nothing to do with anything we have done. God is stretching us, pulling us. There can be no growth without some discomfort.

You know, if I hadn't made a decision yesterday to pull myself out of this funk, I don’t know how I would've handled that email today. Actually, yes I do. I would've been having myself a big little pity party right about now. Complete with lots of ice cream and scenes of the wonderful Mr. Darcy. But KC and I promised each other to just move on. Let it go. No talking about it, no dwelling on it, no fuming about it. Because - again - it's out of our hands. So chin up, chest out, and keep trucking on. He has brought us TOO far for us to give up now.

And let me tell you, I'm actually pretty excited about the fact that He is stretching us. It means He is preparing us for something, something grand, something adventurous! So if I have to trudge through the quicksand of the Fire Swamp to come out on the other side, by golly I'm going to do it! I've dreamt of adventure! And here I am, smack dab in the middle of it. Silly me. And you know where this adventure is going to lead me? To a spiritual place of trusting God with my life. To a mental place of being happy with who I am and what I am. To the physical place of AFRICA. C'mon now?! How much more adventure do you need?? Walking hand in hand with God! A path of self-discovery and acceptance! Waking up one morning to foreign sights and smells and sounds. Gosh! Do you feel it? Do you feel the stirring in your own spirit? What grand adventure is He calling you on? And more importantly, are you brave enough to dare it?


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