Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I'm waiting. But eventually....

{God kept me in the waiting. And while I am waiting, He keeps me.

He holds me back and He holds me close.

He keeps me from running ahead of His plan and His plan is to keep me near to His heart.

It all feels better when I think about Him waiting with me, arms wrapped tightly around me, whispering something in His Father voice about how the wait will be worth it, how He is here, and how He won’t let me go.}

Gosh how this resonated in my heart. He is keeping me waiting. He is holding me close, trying to quell my trembling spirit. The theme of what He is whispering to me this week? Find joy in the now, in this wait. I don't think this devotional could have hit the nail on the head any harder. This, in conjunction with our class on Sunday night has just jolted me into awareness. Rest. Take a step back. Don't allow this to steal your joy. All things easier said than done.

There is absolutely nothing easy about adoption or choosing Him. But oh the rewards. I'm sure by now you're thinking, this all seems to echo the same theme. Well, I'm human. And I forget. A lot. :) He has to remind me constantly. I need those reminders because some weeks, I can't see the forest for all the trees.

I need to appreciate the gift of now, while I'm waiting. My boys…. they're not getting any smaller. Unfortunately it feels like they're mutantly growing in leaps and bounds before my own two eyes. I'm getting so caught up in worrying about waiting, I'm going to miss it. Effie will be a part of our family sooner or later, but I won't get this time back with my boys. I need to wait, hold them close to me while I still can. I won't let them go, but just like I run away from God's loving arms, they'll eventually do the same. They'll come back for a bit, but they're growing boys. Just today, Caedmon kissed my goodbye on the cheek - not on my lips like he's done before.

Time slips away so quickly. And if I'm not careful, I'm going to miss it. I need to take joy in the now. Because we won't be a family of 4 much longer. And if the adoption is any indication of what KC and I feel like our life will be, I need to learn to live in the moment. <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="br">



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