Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I'm not sleeping.

No new news yet in regards to the adoption. We're waiting on our new birth certificates and marriage license to get here so we can overnight them to USCIS. Once they receive them, they'll be able to approve our I-600 form. Then, we will be sending that to Little Rock to be state sealed with the rest of our dossier. After that, it'll be headed off to Ethiopia! I'm giving myself lots of time and am praying we get our dossier sent off by the end of the year. Hopefully it won't take another 2 months, but ya never know; especially with our track record. Haha!  ;-) 
Well, other than that little adoption related tidbit, I thought I'd share something else I came across last night that got me thinking:

If you are even attempting to be faithful to James 1:27, you will experience weariness, stress, fear, doubt, anger, attacks from the Evil One, and sometimes even bone-deep despondency or despair. There is absolutely no such thing as orphan care and adoption without suffering. Period. If you are involved in caring for orphaned and vulnerable children, or in fostering or adopting a child, you will find yourself in great need of refreshment and renewal many times over.
                        -Together for Adoption website

This was actually refreshing to read. As Christians, we try our hardest to stay positive and upbeat through the good times and the bad. But wouldn't it be so much better if we just admitted that things are "kinda crappy" right now and we could really use some encouragement and uplifting? This isn't just for people going through adoption, but just any tough situation in general. (I know why I try to give a positive spin on everything adoption related: I don’t want to scare anyone away from adopting or fostering. Lol.) Yes, sometimes it's hard, darn near unbearable, but can you even try to imagine the end result? The end result is what keeps me going. This goes for those experiencing adoption, break-ups, divorce, loss… LIFE in general. It's hard, and sometimes it's only His tight grasp that keeps me hanging on. But when I think about the end result, it makes it all worth it.

One day, I'll be holding her in my arms and we'll be a family of 5. One day, we'll be making pancakes and hanging out at home all day on a Saturday. One day, I'll have my little girl. And that day can't get here soon enough.

But until then, I have to push my pride aside and ask for prayer - in everything. We have to have a support system. In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, we are told to encourage and build each other up daily; not once a week, not when things are crazy difficult - but every single day. We've grown so accustomed to thinking that we have to be strong/bear the load ourselves/be independent/pull ourselves out of the muck by our bootstraps/be a man, rub some dirt in it! We don't! As Christ continually encourages and uplifts us, we need to do the same for others.

I've found that on days that I can't do anything but fret, KC is in a great, pumped up mood and it's easy for him to help me out of my slump. And on days that he's sulking, I've found myself in a fantastic mood and can pull him out. But then, there are those rare days when he and I are both in a funk. Those days are no fun. They're rare, but we have them. Those days, we just have to grit our teeth so we don't set each other off. Yet all we'd need to do is ask for a bit of encouragement or prayer.

It's not even pride really. I guess it's almost - shame that we feel. Shame that, as Christ followers, we shouldn't have "off" days. It's silly to think that though. I'm sure Christ had those days. He experienced every human emotion on the spectrum - He felt weariness and despair too. The whole time He was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane before His crucifixion, He was praying for strength.  In the telling of the story in Luke, it says "An angel appeared from heaven and strengthened Him… He prayed fervently and was in such agony….".

He knew that what He had to do was going to be beyond difficult, and He needed to take the time to pray for confirmation and strength. He needed encouragement from God - and God responded. He sent down an angel. I'm sure had the disciples not been sleeping, they could have offered some words of encouragement. He was "overwhelmed with sorrow" and just wanted the disciples to be with Him, near Him as He prayed for strength. He even told them to watch and pray, and when He caught them sleeping again, they didn't even know what to say.

Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever feel shamed because you posted on someone's status or tweet 'Praying for you!' and you never found the time to? I'll be the first to say that I don't pray for others nearly as much as I should. And knowing how much I could use prayer, I should be praying for others every hour! It's not easy to do, we get caught up. But if we just made a conscious effort to look to God for guidance on who to uplift, do you know how big of a blessing that is? Do you know how huge it was to have a few friends from high school message me just to uplift me and send prayers my way? It was GINORMOUS! Seriously, thank you Lydia and Haley. You both deserve a public shout out for obeying God no matter how "cheesy" it might have been.  ;-)   I needed cheesy right at that moment.

S don't decide not to reach out to someone because you're afraid of rejection. They may not respond the way you want them to, but it's likely because they're still in the midst of a huge battle. I challenge you today to find one person to give some encouragement to or pray for. You don't even have to let them know you're praying for them - we're taking baby steps here okay? Any small gesture - sharing your devotional or verse of the day with someone, or maybe a song you heard on the radio that was uplifting - might be a BIG gesture to them.

…………..Just do something for someone to let them know you're not sleeping………….


No comments:

Post a Comment