Our agency just sent us a message stating that they were "expecting an update of some sort" on our case tomorrow. We don’t know what that means exactly…. My heart is about to beat outside of my chest. I’m getting excited.
A LARGE part of me doesn’t want to get excited because it’s likely that we really won’t hear anything. KC and I are at this place of “Do we allow ourselves to get a little excited? Or do we guard our heart just in case it turns out to be nothing”? Because seriously guys, this day to day is torture.
It stinks finding yourself at that place. It really does.
But I know my God. And I know He is bigger than any update we may or may not get. He has the power to hold us when we’re scared and confused and heartbroken. He has the power to hold Bertie – to comfort her and let her know we ARE coming for her. Because we ARE coming for her.
Throughout this process, I find myself wanting to err on the side of caution; to be safe. Isn’t that what I’ve been doing? Trying to control the outcome? Guarding my heart?
But that’s not what this is about. Following Christ isn’t about being safe. Saying yes in a BIG way is the furthest thing from safe. But it's so good guys.
I think of the line in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (one of my favorite books) – “Safe?... Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good”.
Why am I just now realizing this?! I have no clue. Haha!
So even though my brain is telling me no, I’m going to keep hoping. Because my hope isn’t in a piece of paper or a court date. My hope is in a God who adores me and wants only the best for his little girl, and for my little girl.
So please friends, keep praying for our little family as we continue this uphill climb. We know the peak has to be close. And if not, He’s still good.
“Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything…” James 1:4