I checked my inbox this morning and saw an email from our agency with the subject line: Program Update. This is the update we'd been waiting 2 weeks for. This is the update that lets us know what the new wait times are. I ain't gonna sugar coat it for ya - it. was. ugly. The wait times have nearly doubled. Yep, you read that right - doubled. The wait time for a child 0-3 for someone who turned in their dossier in August (that's not even us yet) is up to 31 months. That's close to 3 years. There are over 150 families waiting for a 0-3 year old right now; actually, they're probably waiting for a baby.
KC and I put in our home study and dossier that we would accept a child 0 to 2 1/2 years old. We wanted her to be close to Oliver's age. But Oliver is quickly coming up on 4, so we're rethinking our acceptance age. KC and I never really thought we'd receive a referral for a "baby". We actually were hoping for a toddler, one closer in age to both of the boys.
After reading the update together, KC and I decided to email our social worker to see if we could change our age up to 4 years old. (I'll let you guys know once we receive a reply back on that.) If she's a little older than Oliver, that's okay. We just don't want her to be older than Caedmon. We're praying it won't be hard to change that information. Even if it is - we've not even been submitted to Ethiopia yet, so we're okay with waiting a smdige longer.
One thing that the update didn't mention this time, was the wait times for those open to "special needs" children. KC and I prayed over that three page medical questionnaire and checked 'yes' or 'WTD' (willing to discuss) on a lot of the conditions. There were some that we knew we just weren't equipped to handle, but a lot of them were ones that God specifically laid on our hearts. Whether or not she has any special needs is up to Him, but we are obeying Him. We're also researching as many of those needs as we can so we are as knowledgeable as we can be. Last time they updated us, the wait time for families open to "special needs" was 11-13 months at the longest. That could have changed as well. They don't have as good of a timeline for special need adoptions, as there are fewer families open to that. So it's a close guesstimate I guess.
Anywhoo! KC and I calmly discussed our where our hearts were, and what our options were. I would love to have a baby girl, but I'm just beyond excited to have a daughter - so I don't care what her age is. I know that I'm in a much closer place with God right now, because this bummer news, didn't actually bum me out. It actually kind of excited KC and I. We realized, maybe this was the nudge we needed to step out of our comfort zone even more! I honestly did not think that was possible! haha! But as we were talking about it, we thought "How great would it be to have them all right around the same age? To do stuff all together and not worry that Effie can't do such-and-such because she's not old enough". So, it was decided. J
Just a nice tip for you: Don't ever think you're at a place of "safeness" in God's plan. J We thought we were pretty much set on ALL of our stuff, then we get thrown another curve ball. But AGAIN, this curve ball has turned out to be a blessing! There are a few girls on our agency's wait list that I just can't get out of my mind. That might be because I'm just praying for a family for them, praying for my daughter and eagerly awaiting her arrival, or…....... who knows what God has up His sleeve? (Like how I'm bein' all sly like?) The absolute best thing KC and I can do is keep praying - praying for continued wisdom, guidance, strength, and grace. Yes, even for grace; because we screw up a lot. J
I'm not upset or sad. And that is amazing for me. God is molding me through this adoption. I don't react to disappointment the way I used to. I know now that God can use those "bummer bits of news" that we get and turn it around. We have to always look for the blessing or the positive in a situation. It's always there, we just choose whether or not we see it. It won't always be easy (trust me, I feel 100% entitled to throwing a fit and crying whilst eating 3 pints of Ben & Jerry's Half Baked ice cream in my pj's and playing on Pinterest), but it's so much better than always living in the shadow of the negatives; of almost expecting more bad news. It's only through His grace I've emerged from that trap.
Adoption is full of unknowns, LIFE is full of unknowns. So just take it one day at a time and remember to always choose joy. ©