Thursday, February 2, 2012

A Work in Progress

So far it looks like I'm making good on my resolution to post to the blog at least once a month. Surely I can keep this up! Haha. Then again, it's only February......

Well, as far as the adoption goes, we're ready to start the home study this month. I sent an email to our social worker earlier this week and am just waiting on a response. I know they get crazy busy and I'm trying not to go all crazy-psycho-stalker-lady on them - probably wouldn't look too good on my part.  ;)  I'm trying my very hardest not to get impatient, but it's so hard when the home study has been stalled by the holidays. I'm ready to dive into it! And, as you all know, I'm very much a "planner", and I'd love to be able to knock out our longer home study session with a day that I'm already scheduled off at work next week. But that's looking less like a reality since it's already Thursday.

I know I'm continually mentioning this, but God is REALLY showing me what it means to trust in Him. It seems like that's what He's always trying to show me. It's been the same thing since I was a teenager and even now as I'm one week away from 25(!!!). {Rabbit trail: I'm not freaking out about the fact that I'm getting "old", but the fact that it's all gone by so fast!} I'm learning that I have trust issues. And those issues normally lead to a freak - out session because it's something beyond my control. With God's help, we've resolved a big part of that issue (plug for Freedom Ministries @ KPC. haha). But I still have a LONG way to go. And let me tell ya, nothing stretches your comfort zone of trusting in someone/something more than the adoption process! I'm sure those who have been through it before can attest to this.

This entire thing is based on trusting a lot of people - many of whom you have never met. Trusting that they get your emails, trusting that they've sent in your paperwork to the proper places, trusting that we won't be led astray…. And let me tell you - THAT. IS. HARD. But do you know what's going to make it easier? Not trusting in them. Trusting in God. My God who hung the sun and the moon and the stars. My God who told the oceans to only go so far. My God who knit me together inside my Momma's womb. My God that has been there with me through it all, even when I thought I couldn't see Him. My God who still takes me back no matter how many times I hurt Him. My God who will let me lay my head on His shoulder and cry in His presence. My God. Who loves me fiercely and wants only the best for His daughter. My God. My Father. He knows what is best for me, for KC, for Caed and Ollie, and for little Effie - whatever stage of life she is in. Just like my boys trust me without question, I need to trust in my Father and the life He has planned for me.
I'm a work in progress - and I'm proud of it.


Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians:6-7 NLT

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