I posted a link to an article entitled “10 Things Not to Say to an Adoptive Parent”. I laughed at number 4:
4. “Can’t you just go and pick him up?”
- Umm… no. Because that would be kidnapping.
And then yesterday as the boys and I were waiting in the car for Daddy to show up at the restaurant, Caedmon out of the blue asks “Can’t we just fly to Africa to get Effie already?” Oliver agreed with a loud “Yeah!”
I then proceeded to say, for what feels like the millionth time, “No buddy, we can’t just go and get her yet”. This was followed by whining and a “But whyyyy? It’s been like forever!”
My mind raced trying to figure out how I could explain to them the waiting process in a way they would understand. Thank the Lord I came up with something quick.
Me: Guys, right now, we’re waiting in line. You know how sometimes you wait in line for something that you really want and sometimes the line goes super slow?
Oliver: Yeah! Like at Chick-fil-A! (always thinking of food that one)
Me: Yep! Exactly! Right now, we’re waiting in line to see a picture of Effie.
(I’m jumping in here to explain that our agency doesn’t give us wait list numbers. Some agencies will do that to give you an idea of “where in line” you are. Our agency doesn’t quite do that as they’re matching the family to the child, not necessarily the next person “in line”. Each agency does things differently and has different views on it – not that one is better than the other.)
Caedmon: But what if another family takes her on accident?
Me: That won’t happen buddy. There are a lot of kiddos there waiting to meet their families. Once we get a picture of Effie, she’ll be ours okay?
Caedmon: Okay. If you’re sure.
Me *thinking brilliantly ahead. Hehe*: Now, once we are finally at the front of the line and get a picture of Effie, we have to get in another line. In this line, we’re waiting to go to court and see the judge so he can say we’re Effie’s family.
Caedmon: COURT!! What if the judge takes you to jail!
Me: No, it’s okay. It’s a judge that wants Effie to have a home. We won’t go to jail in Africa.
Oliver: Phew! That was close.
Me: Okay. And once we’re done at court, we’ll come back home and then we’ll be in the last line. The last line we wait in is to FINALLY bring Effie home.
Caedmon: Well, that doesn’t seem too hard.
Me: Nope. It’s just a lot of waiting patiently. Now, how many lines are there.
Me: And what line are we in?
Caedmon: But it is kinda hard to wait.
Me: I know. But, what we can do in the meantime is pray that God helps us stay patient while we’re waiting our turn. And we can keep praying for Effie.
Caedmon: Yeah, that she doesn’t get hurt or nuthin’.
Oliver: I’m worried about going to Africa! I’ve never been there before.
Me: ………. Well……. You guys probably aren’t going to go to Africa with us. It’ll just be me and Daddy.
Boys: WHAT?!?! Why!
Me: Because, it’ll cost a lot more money and there are a lot of other reasons. BUT you get to stay here and chill out with some of our family! Woot woot!
Boys: Woot woot!
Me: Yes Ollie.
Oliver: So…. Can we stay home all by ourselves while you and Daddy are in Africa?
Me: Uh. No. I don’t think so.
Ollie: Oh poop. Fine then.
And then they proceeded to poke and mess with each other in the backseat of the car. Once Dad pulled up, they explained the process to him.
It was pretty exciting to hear them explaining it and actually understanding it. The longer we wait, the more antsy the boys get. They know it’s been a while since we first started talking about Effie.
So here we are. Waiting patiently after getting good news from our agency yesterday that Ethiopia has no intentions of closing the doors to international adoption. We’re continually trusting in God.
We’d LOVE to be able to finally be matched and bring her home this year. But we know it’s all in God’s hands.
We’re back in the paper chase a little bit – we’re working on updating some of our forms (home study and USCIS application) again. But at least it gives us something to do while we’re waiting. Since we bought a house, our social worker has to come over and inspect it and update our home study to send to USCIS for our I600A. So KC and I are trying to finish unpacking and getting Effie’s room set back up.
We were given a twin bed from a friend at work, so I’m going to paint it. We’ll still need to get a mattress and foundation, but her room is slowly coming together again.
No matter what this year brings, we are still holding to His promise; hoping that this is the year we finally get to see our little girls face. ❤️