So - awhile back I posted about what our daughters new name was going to be. Santi Raquel Collins. God gave KC the name Santi last year when we just barely started this journey. We know it's significant, but not 100% sure how exactly. So we made that part of her name. Raquel is my middle name and we wanted it to be part of hers as well. Now, let me tell you a little something: KC had veto power when it came to Caedmon and Oliver's names with the agreement that I would get to pick the name if we ever had a girl. Well, I've been praying - more like pleading, but hey! Fair's fair right? Lol - about another name for her. For the past 4 months.... nuthin'. I have criteria and it seemed like none of the names I was coming across were going to work out. 1. It has to be a long name 2. It has to have a cute nickname 3. It should be an older name (so that's why it needs to have a nickname. A lot of the names are too big for a little girl) 4. It cannot remind me of anyone/anything in a somber way 4. It COULD NOT be a super popular name. 5. It had to have a good strong meaning. 6. God had to approve.
I know, I know. Long list. haha. Well, I had a way of finding names. I had a list of nicknames I loved and looked for longer names to go with them. Here's my list: Millie, Lenni, Effie, Addie, Emmy. Not a whole lot to work with. Long story short, almost all of the names that would work using those as nicknames were either super popular - Amelia (Millie) - or had meanings that weren't what we wanted - Eleanor (Lenni). So, as I was nearing the end of my list and searching for Effie, I just couldn't torture her with a name like Euphemia or Ophelia (the poster child of teenage angst and suffering? Thanks Wikipedia). Then, I came across JOSEPHINE. But, it went against rule #4. I have a Tia Josefina in Mexico.... not very friendly. My dad and his brothers have a big piece of land that my grandfather left them. My fathers is larger than the others. She would move the fence line making my uncles land bigger - she'd do it a little each year so it wasn't suspicious. They eventually found out. But she's just NOT a friendly woman. I didn't like going to her house (the few times I remember being there). She just made me.... uncomfortable. So I definitely didn't like the idea of naming our daughter the same thing. NOR did I want to engage in a deep discussion with my 30 (okay, exaggeration) other aunts on why I named her after that aunt. Lol. Well, God has other plans doesn't He? Her name is going to be Josephine. Haha. It means 'God will increase'. KC and I prayed about it and it was perfect! A. God was increasing our family through her. and B. just 2 days after we began praying about it, KC received the largest paycheck he's ever gotten since he started working from home. His check allowed us to replenish our adoption account after we spent over $2,000 to fix our car. That's another story. Lol. We felt like it was perfect. AND it had the nickname I've always loved. God has a way of giving you what you want - maybe not quite the way you'd expect, but He does. I've always prayed for a daughter, even before I was married. I'm getting one, not in the traditional sense, but in an equally exciting way.
God has been revealing things to my heart through this journey that I never would have expected. I'm learning more about who I am in Him and I'm learning about my strength in Him. His showing me things that I need to change, things I need to allow Him to change. And through it all, the message is the same. 'You are my darling, my little girl. I will always be here no matter what.' It's taken me awhile to get used to that idea due to circumstances with my dad, but I'm seeing new ways to love and trust in my heavenly Father. I think this journey is about more than just the adoption. I've grown so much in Him these past 2 years, especially the last 9 months. I know He's teaching me things through this journey that I'll need for the other plans He has for our lives. Some things, He's revealed to us and they freak me out! haha. But I'm doing all that I can to follow the plan for our lives.
Random (it wouldn't be me if it wasn't random), but have you noticed that my posts always start out about the adoption, then tend to go off on what seems like a tangent? Lol. Hey, I just type what's on my mind. Just be glad I'm not posting about who Lenni, Tuck and Ming Ming just saved on Wonder Pets. ;)