Oh man. Do you ever read something – an email or text from a friend, a verse, or a devotional – and think God, you’re speakingright. to. me. That’s how I felt today on three separate, instances. Yet, they were all three so perfect and each one reiterated a point from the other! I love when that happens.
I checked my Instagram and saw this quote from Kay Warren.
This is exactly what I try to convey when I post on my blog. “The determined choice to praise God in all things…” That’s where I’m at.
My last post was a bit more emotional than usual, but I knew I needed to be honest and let my feelings pour out. It frightens me sometimes to do that. I feel like that’s when I’ve been hurt the most; when I open myself up and allow myself to be vulnerable. It’s really only ever backfired before I met KC. So it’s something that still terrifies me. I try to remain passive and strong so I don’t get hurt by sharing the emotions battling inside me. I HATE sharing my feelings with others. So many thoughts race through my mind:
What if they think I’m crazy?
What if they’re uninterested?
What if they make fun of me when they get home?
What if they don’t get it?
And then this morning, (in)Courage had this devotional – When Holidays Hold More Sorrow Than Joy. I didn’t think much of it, but read it anyway. I’m attaching the link for you guys to read, but I’m going to attach just a little piece from it, the part that struck me and caused tears to well up in my eyes.
On Living Wide Open and Being Held
…. It’s still okay for the emptiness to feel raw at times.
Because God never leads us through pain apart from a corresponding invitation to intimately experience His nearness.
And in this season, while you ache, this is His heart for you: Live wide open.
Don’t close your heart. Don’t allow numbness to set in – because to be numb to pain is to be numb to joy. And God has joy for you, friend.
It may come in tiny blips at first. Embrace it as it comes. Smile. Laugh. Play goofy games and eat good food and give gifts and hugs and enjoy your loved ones.
And when the ache feels acute? Don’t run from it.
Cry if you need to. Be honest and brave.Entrust your heart to a few close ones by allowing them to simply be present with you in the aching.
There’ll be times when your heart isn’t handled well by those who love you. Intentions are good, but we humans are sometimes ignorant when it comes to handling each others hurts.
When people fail to compassionately hold our hearts? God extends to us the most precious of invitations:
Beloved, let Me hold you.
Be gut-wrenchingly honest before Me. Entrust the depths of your pain to Me. Your raw authenticity before Me is the sweetest fragrance to My heart, and this ache is where I’m inviting you into intimacy.
So give yourself permission to just be before Him, friend.
Live wide open.
Cry.
Mourn.
Laugh.
Hug.
Be.
Let your emotions be what they are, from moment to moment, and allow others into them. Especially Him. There’s no greater gift you can offer – to others or to your Father who loves you – than your authentic heart.
This. This is perfect. All of it. It’s spoken in love. It’s what I was talking about last week. Beloved, let Me hold you. This is what He says to me. I may still have a hard time opening up to others, but He will always be there.
Choice. That’s what it’s about. Choosing to let Him and others in. Choosing joy. Choosing to praise Him no matter the outcome. Life will be hard – it’s full of brokenness; we’re broken. But choosing Him over all the pain, sorrow, and grief is what it’s about. Choice.
Choose Him. It doesn’t magically take away the hard times. It makes them easier because you have someone to lean on. I’m choosing Him. ❤
{Click here for the rest of the post from (in)Courage. And I highly recommend signing up for their daily devotional emails http://www.incourage.me/2013/12/when-holidays-hold-more-sorrow-than-joy.html}
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