Oh 2013, how lovely of you to start off with a bang!

While we thought that 2012 was ending on the somber note of having to pay and redo our USCIS paperwork, it actually ended with a glimmer of hope. After applying for 9 grants (I counted to make sure), all of which gave unfavorable replies due to lack of funds, we were unsure of how to proceed. 

After seeing our run of unsuccessful assistance, our agency suggested a credit union that they work with sometimes. They offer low interest adoption loans to families who are running out of options. Yep, that was us - snag after snag and nowhere else to turn. Our agency needed our next portion of fees, and we just didn't have it. KC had just started a new job because his old one wasn't providing as it had in the past. We. Were. Stuck.

 

We have been debt free since I lost my job when I was preggers with Oliver. We own both our vehicles, we rent our house, and other than a few small medical bills, we have no payments save utilities. So, as far as credit goes, I’m sure we were sub-par. That made us a bit nervous about even trying. But, we decided to give it a shot. 

We gave them a call and gave them all the necessary preliminary information. Well, the holidays came and went, and we hadn't heard back from them. KC and I assumed were weren't eligible. But I convinced KC to call them one last time. I wanted to at least know for sure.

 

KC called me back on Monday the 31st and said we were approved! We were so excited! But then, we realized it was “pending account membership”. Well, we've never worked with a credit union before, so we didn't know if the rules were different. So, we sent in all the paperwork and sent up a few prayers. Wednesday night we got a call from our loan officer – Miss M. She had a few questions about the paperwork so I gave her the information she needed. Then, this conversation went on:

 

Me: Is there anything else you need?

Miss M: No, that should be it! I’ll work on getting this processed.

Me: Great, so do you have an idea of when we’ll know anything?

Miss M: …… Know what?

Me: About when we’ll know whether or not we got the loan.

Miss M: Oh! You were approved for the loan.

Me: *starting to freak out but reigned it back in* Right, pending account membership. When do we find out about that?

Miss M: Oh – I am so sincerely sorry. I should have made it more clear. You were approved for the loan and your membership was processed and approved today.

Me: …… Seriously. Seriously!!!

Miss M: *laughing* Yes, I’m so sorry I didn't realize you didn't know that.

Me: So we got it!?

Miss M: Yes, you got the loan.

Me: KC! We got it! Oh, man. Oh my goodness, thank you SO much! I’m about to cry! (then I proceeded to babble... I'm not quite sure what else I said. Haha)

Miss M: *laughing* Congratulations. I’m glad I could be of help! Now, I’m processing this today and tomorrow and they should be able to get a cashier’s check cut on Friday and mailed to you. Does that sound okay?

Me: (still in shock mind you) Um, yes, yes that would be fantastic!

Miss M: Great! You should get it sometime next week.

 

Yeah, I seriously said that. I would've hugged her through the phone if I could have.

 

Now, I've not done this in the past because people will use any excuse to bad-mouth adoption and adoption agencies, but I’m going to break down what our fees have been and what we have left to give you an idea of where it goes. I want you all to keep in mind that there are real live people out there helping us bring our daughter home – on both ends. They have families and have to make a living too. No, adoption isn't cheap, but there are a lot of people and procedures out there to help keep it as ethical as possible – no matter if you’re adopting domestically or internationally (and don't forget how big the medical bill is after giving birth, you're just lucky that insurance helps cut that cost down for you).

 

I’m not going into deep detail, but I’ll give you an idea of what’s been done and what is left. So many of you have helped us in the past, and we want you to see how much you have helped us in our journey. It really does take a village.  :))

 

Agency fees: $8,800

Country fees: $9,000

Third party fees (USCIS, visas, etc): 1720

+ 890 to re-file our USCIS Immigration approval

Total: $19,610

 

This number does not include all the documents we had to pay for at the beginning to even start the process: multiple certified copies of birth certificates and marriage license, passports, 10 hours of online training classes, books to read, physicals, psychologist evaluation for me (it’s official, I’m NOT crazy. Haha!), etc.

Estimated Travel costs: $6,980-$11,600

The travel costs depend on a variety of factors: travel visas, airline tickets, the size of room we want at the guesthouse our agency uses, transportation in-country, etc. When we researched tickets, most airlines had them at $1,200+. However, we've heard of a few tricks to use and even of a travel agency that specializes in adoption travel. Tickets through them were closer to $900. And after much discussion, we don’t need more than a small room for sleeping at the guesthouse or our own personal bathroom - we're fine with using the Jack and Jill type one adjoining 2 of the rooms. We’ll be out and about most of the time anyway.    :)

 

We have paid well over 7,000 in our official fees (plus all the other extras) and have just about $12,000 in fees left.

 

Our loan is for $10,000. Seriously amazing right? Now, we continue to save the other little bit and travel costs. The other good news is, since we own both our vehicles, we can take out another small loan to help with travel costs! Even more amazing eh? 

We also talked to our social worker on Friday, since KC started his new job, we're supposed to wait until he's been in the position for 3-6 months before getting a letter from his new employer so we can re-file our USCIS paperwork. They do that so they make sure he is out of his orientation period. We were a bit bummed at the idea of waiting another 6 months! But we found out our agency will send the letter to JB Hunt at the beginning of March! Only after 3 months instead of the normal 6. Why? Because they know we've been waiting SO long and have hit so many setbacks. Haha! So that was definitely another blessing. If everything goes right, we could get our Dossier sent to Ethiopia in late April or early May..... we will officially be waiting for a referral. *cue ridiculous amount of squealing on my part and maybe yours too!*

This is it guys. This is the LAST step before waiting to see a picture of her. This beautiful year is turning out to be amazing! Maybe, just maybe this is the year.....

  -Sandia

   

  

Year-End Update

Well, as the year comes to a close, it’s time to reflect on what has happened this past year. The beginning of the year started out with a bang. We finished our home study (despite all the “additional” information needed last minute) in the Spring and completed our Dossier/BigFatFile and even submitted our USCIS paperwork for approval by the end of the summer. Even with resubmitting our USCIS paperwork to change our age range from 0-4, we were optimistic that we would be on the wait-list by December.

Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened. On Christmas day, as we were driving to my Grandma’s house, tears slowly started rolling down my cheeks. This is the 3rd Christmas since we decided to adopt. It’s the 2nd Christmas since we actually started the process. I’m praying with everything in me that we don’t go another one without her. But that’s only a piece of our tough times this year.

KC started a new job (hallelujah!! PTL!!), but that created its own series of setbacks. You are only allowed one free update to your home study for USCIS (the immigration department). We used that free update early this fall to change our age range. Now, to update our “financial status”, we have to resubmit our file and pay the fee again. This is not a minimal fee of just a couple hundred dollars. This fee is just shy of $1,000. I found myself sobbing, er crying when we found this out. It’s like that first thousand was just thrown away. When you’re working your tushy off to raise and save $20,000+, that is a B-I-G deal. Luckily, my meltdown only lasted about 20 minutes before I received encouragement from a few different friends directly and indirectly (thank you Desiree, Tia, and Maddi). From each of them, the message was the same: Don’t give up. God is faithful despite our roadblocks. And I know with everything in me that they’re right.

I mean, what a fantastic reason to have to redo our home study: KC has a great, steady job doing something he really enjoys. We will be able to put more to the adoption than we did before! We’ll make it through, we always do.

I’ve talked to our social worker to find out exactly what we need to do. I am ready to get this ball rolling again! Effie’s out there. Waiting. She may not know this, but her journey has already started. She won’t know it until we come get her, but we are fighting tooth and nail to bring her home. I’m not giving up.

{From the ends of the earth, I cry to You for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for You are my safe refuge… -Psalms 61:2-3}


~Sandia

My BIG Picture

Some days I need to remember the big picture. Even though some days are harder than others, we still have it a lot better than most.

When times are rough and things get tight, you begin to realize all of the things you can do without. Material things you thought you HAD to have. Silly little items that I don’t need.

It’s moments like last night when my oldest got in trouble for dumping out his entire lunch in the school trash because I made him leftover chicken tacos instead of a PB&J. When we told him there were children all over the world hungry, we realized it’s likely that the village where Effie is would likely be on that list.

We may have chicken tacos multiple nights, or are only able to make potato casserole for holiday meals (because potatoes are cheap and we’re watching every cent); but our rough times (as rough as they are to us) are times of plenty to many in the world.

I may not be working at my dream job (not many do), but I have a good job with a steady income. The van might only heat up the back half 100% of the time and the front 30% of the time, but at least the boys are warm and we have vehicle.

We might not have had the chance to go to the Christmas tree farm like I wanted and cut down our own tree, but we have a beautiful tree we got from the tree farm at the Gator Golf lot. We may not be able to go all out for Christmas for everyone or for our boys, but they will still have something under the tree.

As “tight” as things have been, I’ve never once gone without. I’ve never once wanted for a necessity. God has been incredibly gracious and faithful to our family. Our perspective has changed. Every thought surrounds how it will affect bringing Effie home.

If you were to make a list of the bad things that are going on in your life and then one of the good, I can almost guarantee that the good would be longer. We need to remember the good, the blessings. Even the tiniest things – like being let out on a busy street by a polite driver – can turn your day around. Look at the big picture. There truly are more good things than bad in our lives and in the world. It’s which one you choose to give more attention to that determines how your day will go.

So even though times in adoption-land are slow, I have a daughter. And we – with help from our amazing friends and family – are wokring our hardest to bring her home.


-Sandia

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....

THAT is our new family motto. Well, it’s been our mantra since this whole process started, but KC and I have decided to make it official. I’m even going to paint it on a piece of wood or something and hang it in the house! Haha! Just. Keep. Swimming. It’s been perfect for our life the past few years. No matter what happens, good or bad, *singing* just keep swimming.
 

In case you live on Mars OR don’t have kids, that little blip is from Finding Nemo. Watch it if you haven’t. It’s fantastic. That is Dory’s response to anything bad that happens. Your son is kidnapped by weird aliens?! Just keep swimming... We’re in a sunken ship bordered by mines with 3 “vegetarian” sharks?! Just keep swimming… We’ve found ourselves surrounded by thousands of deadly jellyfish?! Just keep swimming… Lost in the Big Blue swimming in circles?! Just keep swimming….

You get it. Dory is always the positive one even though Marlin is constantly thinking the ABSOLUTE worst of every situation. I want to be Dory. Actually, I’m already like her in a few ways. Shiny object anyone? As far as a fictional character goes – she’s just awesome. (Don’t even get me started on Ellen DeGeneres – she was perfect to voice Dory. Seriously. Don’t argue.) No matter what came her way, she just kept on swimming. So that’s what we’re doing. Plugging away.

 

In case you didn’t read about it on Facebook, KC got a job as a recruiter for JB Hunt. *cue crowd cheering* A HUGE deal for our family. He’s been working from home as a trucking recruiter, but things have been slow. This season – has just been slow. This was a BIG blessing from God. In retrospect, it’s almost like this is where we were heading all along. Just the events that have transpired and led up to this point – it was all God. I mean, from KC leaving his job at Benton County, to living on one salary for 6 months, to my brother-in-law Mike offering KC a chance to work from home as a recruiter, an opportunity that gave him almost 2 years of experience – … it had to be God. This is definitely not a job KC would have picked out. He’s been military and law enforcement for, well… ever. The corporate world wasn’t something he ever thought he’d venture in to. But after interviewing with them on Monday and expecting to find out within a week or so if he got the job, they called him first thing the next morning and offered him the position. Yeah, amazing right?

 

As I mentioned in a previous post, it feels like God has had us walking (Isaiah 40:31) through all of this. From the adoption, to work, to life in general, progress has been slow. But now, we can see the end of at least this portion of it. I know we still have many battles to face, but this has definitely renewed our spirits.

So until God puts that last piece into place, we’re going to do just what we’ve been doing – just keep swimming.

 

Here's a little clip from the movie - it'll motivate you  or at least make you smile.   :) 

 

~~~~ Just Keep Swimming Clip ~~~~ 

 

-Sandia